A Politically Incorrect Parody of Viva La Vida
Like millions of other people, I am moved by Coldplay's, song "Viva La Vida". It just works for me.
I'm down to less than a penny per play. I have played "Viva La Vida" an easy few hundred times and paid $1 for the thing on iTunes.
Viva La Vida is a genuinely great song.
Viva La Vida is an allegory of sorts. An evil king laments the ruin of his reign and his own pending execution.
This a warning - "Look at what happens to religious, nationalists, and the powerful. Why,
they feel so sad right before they get their heads cut off." It makes me think for sure, that I should not be a
conquering self-proclaimed figurehead of God.
Or, does it? Didn't Mel Brooks famously point out that dictatorship has its rewards?
What if the evil king in Viva La Vida actually enjoyed his job, and was good at being a
militaristic figurehead of a powerful nation?
Check out this unapologetically nationalistic parody of
Viva La Vida's lyrics. With but a few surgical changes, the King gives
up his regrets to be an energetic, confident, consquerer. He sells himself to a would be recruit, you.... to join him on his crusades!
Viva La Vida - The Happy King's Version
I like to rule the world,
seas that rise when I give the word.
Now in the morning I sleep alone.
You sweep the streets I like to own.
I like to roll the dice.
Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes.
Listen, now their crowd will sing
"Now the old king is dead! Long like the King!"
[heh heh]
You know I hold the key
and their walls won't close on me!
'cause I discovered that their castles stand
on pillars of salt and pillars of sand.
I hear Jerusalem's bells a ringing.
My explosive choirs are a singing.
Be my mirror, my sword and shield
A soldier in a foreign field.
For some reason I can't explain-
once you join there will never
be a fruitless word.
And that is how I rule the world.
It was the wicked and wild wind-
blew down the doors to let me in.
Shattered windows and the sound of drums.
You'd better believe what I've become!
Revolutionaries wait!
But its their heads upon my plate...
You could dangle on a little string
Or come to battle with your King!
I hear Jerusalem's bells a ringing.
My explosive choirs are a singing.
Be my mirror, my sword and shield-
A soldier in a foreign field.
For some reason I can't explain
I know Saint Peter has called my name.
I conquer for the Almighty Lord
And that is how I rule the world.